T-Pain In My Ass

I had Father's Day all planned out. It was going to be great. I got my man a case of beer and a bottle of his favorite cognac. I made his favorite seafood salad and barbequed some ribs. I sexed him down. He got gifts, which included a card, a watch, and the new Fabolous cd. I wanted him to be relaxed when he came over my house because he deserves it. He is a damned good father.

Our weekend flowed through smoothly all the way up until Sunday, no problems at all. That is until my dumb ass I picked up the newspaper and read that T-Pain had the number 1 record in the country. That's when my whole weekend turned sour. I should have never even commented on this clown. That's where I messed up.

First of all, to be honest, my boyfriend and I are much too passionate about trivial shit. We will argue about stupid things that have nothing really to do with us or our relationship at all. Not real issues, just people or things that wouldn't mean a thing to normal couples. Our argument before this one was about Don Imus, of all things. Whether or not he should be fired. I said hell yeah he should of course, but he was worried about the man's financial future.(Can you believe that?) I remember we went to sleep angry at each other that night, and all over that old wrinkled up bag of a man!

But getting back to T-Pain, I guess this news was a little shocking. I mean I know his songs get major rotation on the radio (which is one of the many reasons why I don't listen) but #1 in the country? Am I the only person that refuses to be fooled into thinking he is anything more than a dude with a Talk box and a couple of hot beats? I suppose so. Roger Troutman is probably rolling around in his grave right this minute behind this dude! I was appalled, and I expressed my feelings. Which must have irritated my man because of course, he is a fan. He's brainwashed too! Damn you T-Pain! Just when I thought it was smooth sailing, here we go with the petty shit. He went into his normal rant about me not being open minded and not giving the music he likes a shot.

Which of course is a total lie. I try to listen to some of his music, I really do. He is into people like Jim Jones & Dipset, Lil' Wayne, Rick Ross, and now (I guess) the latest resident pervert, T-Pain. Out of the above, I like maybe two songs from Jim Jones, but could care less about the rest. I don't know maybe I'm just maturing, but I need more substance in my music. Spitting about jewelry, women, clothes, drugs, guns, and cars just don't impress me anymore. I can tolerate maybe one or two songs from your album being about that, but be more creative.Just sick of everybody rapping about the same things, it becomes redundant. I need more substance, bottom line. That's my whole argument.

His argument is that he gives everyone a chance and that I don't. If I already made up my mind not to like someone, that's it. No convincing me. It's a wrap. He says he listens to music that I put him on to. He heard of people like Consequence, Little Brother & The Justice League, and Dead Prez for the first time from me. He didn't like Ghostface Killah until he heard him with Ne-Yo and I had to put him onto Fishscale. I stay putting him onto game, the list goes on and on. I can't lie, he does listen, and usually likes the music that I introduce to him. He also said something that made me think for a second (but only a second). He said that even though Jim Jones and the rest raps about the same things in each song, check the metaphors and the way they put together the visual picture. The way that they talk about they're ice, drugs sales, and cars are what makes them unique. He also said that T-Pain makes up for what he lacks vocally with his production, and that I had no right to judge his album before I heard it. He said he heard it and liked it.

Like I said, it made me think for a second but I'm still not falling for it. I just fell back after that, because I saw this could turn into another Imus situation and besides this is Father's Day, his day. I'll let him think he won this debate. Tomorrow he is going to buy T-Pervert's T-Pain's cd and then I'll see what he was so desperately dying to waste his money on. Until then I'll just chill. I'll fight that urge I have to print out the lyrics and show them to him just to prove what an bumbling idiot musical genius he really is. (This guy apparently knows how much of a joke his lyrics are.) I'll just sit quietly with and open mind and then tell him how great the he is. It will be hard, but it's worth a try. Stay tuned.